I enjoy to bake, and I like to think I'm pretty good at it. I can make a cheese sauce from scratch (which I'm led to believe isn't the easiest thing in the world to do) I can throw herbs and spices into things and it's always a good combination. I can make biscuits and cakes that look like the picture on the recipe.
Until they don't. And I don't take this very well.
I know it's irrational, but when a recipe doesn't go right, it really bothers me.
I feel like being able to cook is an inherent female talent, that everyone has, and if other people can do it then I MUST be able to do it. When I can't I get annoyed with myself and (don't tell anyone) I've been known to shed a few tears.
Tonight I made the most delicious pumpkin tray bake cake. You know those cake's where you think that the cake can't possibly taste any better than the uncooked mixture? Well this was one of those. When it had baked to golden perfection and smelt divine I took it out of the oven and admired my creation. I left it to cool for 5 minutes as the recipe instructed, and tried to take it out of the tin. It was stuck. No matter, I have the tools for such a quandary as this. Out comes the pallet knife and soon it's looser. I turn it over onto the cooling rack and get the oven glove caught underneath the cake. Next thing I know the cake I spent all evening making, is in four pieces and looks like an cracked paving slab. Here's what came into my mind (and out of my mouth)
'That's it. I give up. I can't cook. Why do I even bother trying? What a waste of an evening and ingredients.'
And then I sat on the sofa and watched television for an hour whilst the IT guy made what is bound to be a delicious pumpkin pie.
Perhaps I don't like failure. Perhaps I'm just in a family of pretty awesome cooks that I'm trying to live up to. Perhaps I'd like cooking to be 'my thing' and I just haven't had enough practice. Whatever the reason, I think I need to learn that it's alright for a recipe not to work out or for me to make a mistake. It's not making a statement about my role as a woman and wife, and it's probably not something to still be thinking about (and blogging about!) a few hours after the event.
Maybe if I got some cats, then that could be my thing? What do you think?
Hi, just called in on a blog hop and stopped to read all your blog. I, too, feel that I should be able to cook - I've had long enough to practise but I still get failures - that's life. We still eat the failures non the less as I hate wasting food! Love your crafting space.
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Thanks for stopping by, I love meeting new people! I had a look through your blog too- how did you get your oven that clean?? Any tips for me?
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